Sunday, July 30

Saying Goodbye...

I think that I might have to say goodbye to an old friend and I am sad. You see, this friend and I have been through quite a lot together. She was there with me through two years of classes to get my teaching certification. Up until all hours of the night working on projects, searching for books online and doing research, she was with me and never faltered. She was my rock and my source of comfort while I waited for a referral for both of my daughters. She helped me connect with friends around the world who understood how hard it was to wait to see my daughters’ faces. She has helped me meet people who I would have never known and keep in touch with many who are spread around the world. I have relied on my friend in times of need – when I needed information or humor or wisdom or guidance.

But, today something went terribly wrong. She didn’t seem quite right. I was gentle with my old friend. She was a little wobbly – a bit unsteady when I touched her. As I tried to ascertain the problem, I heard a crack and I knew that it may be bad. In an effort to save all that we shared, I started the tedious process of reviewing our history. I kept what was important and let go of things that were not. And, now we wait. Will she be there for me tomorrow and the next day? Should I just pull the plug and say goodbye or should I try to hold on to her for as long as we can?

Here is my friend…not really the way that I want to remember her with a broken hinge and a sluggish heart. She has all but given up and can only handle one thing at a time, but I just can’t bear to say goodbye.

Stay tuned...I'll let you know if anything changes with her condition or if we have to make a heartbreaking decision.